


An Unexpected Christmas

by Antarctica_or_bust



Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Christmas, Crack, Fluff, Holidays, Humor, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-16
Updated: 2013-05-16
Packaged: 2017-12-12 01:29:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/805565
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Antarctica_or_bust/pseuds/Antarctica_or_bust
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The company reunites to celebrate Christmas at Bag End where there is love, singing, and a whole lot of beer.</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Unexpected Christmas

**Author's Note:**

> Apparently I like to write Christmas poems in May which is a little weird, but this will make the most sense if read to the rhythm of The Night Before Christmas.

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the Shire  
Every hobbit is sitting with friends by the fire,  
They're drinking hot cocoa and singing in rounds  
Except in Bag End where no one is around.  
  
Only Bilbo is there as he readies for bed  
Visions of dwarves tumbling through his head  
He misses his friends who reclaimed Erebor  
Wishing to see them, just one time once more  
  
When out on the porch he hears a loud sound  
And he runs to the door as his heart starts to pound  
The hobbit opens it wide and what does he see?  
But his company there, grinning with glee  
  
There's Fíli and Kíli and Bofur and Balin  
Nori and Ori and Bifur and Dwalin  
Everyone's there, all fourteen of his friends  
And if this is a dream, he hopes it won't end  
  
But then Thorin strides forward to give him a hug  
While the two Durin princes look at him with love  
And Bilbo ushers them in with one joyous call  
To enter, be welcome, don't stand in the hall  
  
He offers them dinner to which they gladly agree  
For dwarves don't refuse food, not when it's free  
So they empty his pantry like they did before  
But this time he joins them when their voices soar  
  
The company's singing drifts far into the night  
Carols of Christmas that they just can't get right  
'Cause verses are mangled and halted for beer  
Though even this failure can't dampen their cheer  
  
Before long they're all tipsy and the pining starts  
And everyone knows which dwarves lost their hearts  
Except for poor Bilbo who can't understand  
Why Thorin and Bofur keep taking his hand  
  
So they growl at each other to release their prize  
While the wizard just laughs at the hobbit's wide eyes  
Then Fíli and Kíli swoop in under their nose  
To kiss their sweet burglar beneath mistletoe  
  
He blushes and stutters with his face all aflame  
But this doesn't stop him from doing the same  
And everyone cheers when they see the three kiss  
Though Thorin and Bofur the sight somehow miss  
  
They are too busy fighting to notice at all  
When the two laughing princes lead Bilbo down the hall  
They curl up by the fire and enjoy the heat  
While Nori complains that they're sickeningly sweet  
  
So the dwarf challenges Dwalin to poker instead  
The smoke from his pipe like a wreath round his head  
“What forfeit” he asks as he deals the cards  
Baring his teeth at the captain of guards  
  
Their friendship is strange and a little bit feral  
But it's good entertainment when there is no peril  
Thus the rest gather round to lay their own bets  
Though Thorin is busy thinking up some good threats  
  
To use on his nephews to make them stand down  
'Cause he's finally noticed the amusement they've found  
But Bofur convinces him to drink ale instead  
Because nothing cures sorrow like the ache in one's head  
  
They get maudlin and weepy 'bout the chance they have lost  
And then they get drunk and some lines are crossed  
The king and his miner who would have thought  
But they'll do it again because why the hell not?  
  
The hobbit they pine for has also been drinking  
Now flushed and rosy and his boys are thinking  
That romance is lovely but it's time for more  
So they kiss Bilbo together to show what's in store  
  
He's sweet and addicting and they can't understand  
How nobody knew he was so good with his hands  
But they're still by the fire and the others agree  
That this isn't something that they want to see  
  
So the company scatters to go to their beds  
Before certain images get stuck in their heads  
And the hobbit exclaims as they dash out of sight  
"Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"  
  
  
 _Finis_


End file.
